Believing in Snow Drops

My snowdrops were peeking through yesterday when I walked the dog. Overhead, a red cardinal sang his love song, letting all competitors know this was his territory. Spring is definitely coming even though the lake is trapped under rotten gray ice and the cold wind seems to counteract any promised warmth from the sun. But it’s coming. The firt small signs are there.

Those cheeky little flowers are the first to appear every spring. I look for them every year as the snow begins to melt. They show up faithfully like old friends that call just to say hello.

They made me think about other ‘snow drops’ that show up when my faith in something better needs a little boost. Those tiny signs and miracles remind me that dreariness doesn’t last and seasons do change. Call them an optimism vitamin, if you’d like.

I heard a speaker once say that faith and belief are opposites which makes sense to me. Faith co-exists with doubt to carry us through. When we know something is true or it has been accomplished, then we don’t really need faith anymore. But sometimes, faith can use a little reinforcement, such as my snowdrops while the snow is still deep over the tulips.

If winter is overlong in your part of the world – or you have a ‘winter condition’ in your life, keep an eye out for snow drops. Then visit them as often as you need to. Shift your attention to those tiny bits of optimism and feel the promise of change.

Then, when you find your snowdrops, be sure to say thank you. Gratitude is the ultimate antidote to any gray day.

 

Images of Change

“I use to think the brain was the most important organ in the body, until I realized who was telling me that.” – Emo Phillips

I’ve been doing some research for a new workshop I’m putting together on visual journaling and came across some work by Barbara Ganim and Susan Fox. Now, I always believed that visualization was powerful but they explain why so succinctly that I have to share it with you.

“Imagery is the body-mind’s first or primary means of communication. Words are a secondary form of outer communication — a method we have invented to communicate with each other… Words, which are a left-brain function,make it extremely difficult to get into our core feelings, because the left side of the brain is not an experiencer of our feelings, it is an interpreter.

To make its interpretations, the left brain uses the parameters of our individual belief systems….They are the words that tell us what we think we feel, which is not always what we actually feel.”

If our belief systems are flawed in any way — and most of us carry around many limiting beliefs — then words are suspect. (This is a hard thing for a writer to admit.)

Our thought-words tell us what we SHOULD do, not what we MUST do.

The quickest way to get to my core, my soul’s truth is through images; the most powerful way to encourage personal growth is through images. Which leads me back to visualization.

That vision board, visual journal and my doodles on a page are important because my right brain is not analytical or judgmental. It experiences feelings and the language it uses to express how it feels is imagery.

We use imagistic language all the time. “I feel blue. There’s a light at the end of the tunnel. Stop and smell the roses.” Metaphor is powerful because it evokes images our brains can ‘see’. (So all is not lost for this writer.)

When I move directly to using imagery and visualization, I skip the interpretation and the chance to misunderstand. I speak directly and powerfully to my conscious and subconscious mind. (I think there may be a good reason why totalitarian governments try to squelch the artists in their societies.)

Want to accelerate your success? Not sure what success means to you yet? Stop trying to figure it out and play with some images. Get out the old magazines and scissors. Doodle with your kid’s crayons. Get out into nature and just observe.

You may surprise yourself. Although I’d be willing to bet that when you find your answers, you’ll realize they were there all along. It’s just they got lost behind all the words.

 

The Most Important Question

Kids have had it right all along. They instinctively know that the most important question we can ask is “Why”.

Here’s ‘why’ :

1. Why keeps you in the game.

What could so motivate you that you won’t let anyone or anything prevent you from achieving it? You only find out by asking yourself ‘Why?’

Without exploring this critical question for yourself, it’s easy to get caught up in someone else’s dreams and agenda. It’s vital to your success to be clear on the why behind your goals. And when you start asking yourself ‘why’, don’t settle for the first answer.

For instance, if you told me you wanted a six figure income I’d ask you,”Why?”

“Well, to have more time freedom.”

“Why?”

And so on. Until we reached an answer that drew an emotional response.

Now you’ve found your Big Why. It’s your non-negotiable, bottom line. And it’s yours alone.

Never let someone else tell you why you should be doing something. Find it for yourself.

2. ‘Why’ focuses your attention on the essentials

Notice I didn’t say “important”. There are lots of important things we do in our lives but the essential things may not seem all that important until we partner them with our Big Why.

A good example of that is someone who dreams of being an artist. The time spent practicing their skills is often labelled as frivolous and unimportant by those around them. Only the dreamer knows how essential that time really is.

As you plan your day, week and month ask yourself ‘Why am I doing this? Is it taking me closer to what I truly want?’

You’ll quickly learn what’s important to you and what to let go of. Without a solid reason for our activities we can fill up our calendars with busyness and yet, at the end of the day, wonder what we accomplished.

To truly live the life you were meant to be living, maybe it’s time to think like a kid again and ask “Why?”

Over and over.

 

The Fuel of Hope

In my reading recently, I came across this quote:

“If you want to be happy, set a goal that commands your thoughts, liberates your energy, and inspires your hopes.” — Andrew Carnegie

Great quote but I believe Andrew may have the order of things a little mixed up.

Hope is the fuel that sets everything else in motion. Hope glimmers when you catch a vision and then dare to believe that the goal is possible. (‘Daring to believe’ is faith, another important element but that’s another discussion.)

The tiniest spark of hope offers just enough light to see your dream on the horizon. Then its up to you to move toward it using every ounce of that liberated energy Andrew mentioned.

Your dreams are critical because you alone were gifted with them. They need your unique combination of talents and experience in order to be born. So stop avoiding them. Hope is the midwife. Enlist her help.

If someone has stomped on your dreams in the past, then perhaps you’re hanging out with the wrong people. You may even have to leave one or two dream-stompers behind. Move on and find someone to help you hope.

When I first got into business I had no idea if I could succeed so I made it a point to hang out with people who believed in me. I knew that when the going got tough all I had to do was spend a few minutes with them. Just by looking iinto their eyes, I’d find what I needed to keep going – belief.

So kindle hope, find your believers and get into action.

And that’s a pretty good recipe for success.

 

Happy? Or Something Else?

In the middle of my exploration of the word ‘happy’, I heard an episode of “Ideas” on CBC Radio called “Hurried Children”. One of the sub-topics was the high levels of anxiety in this generation of kids. One expert found in her studies that the children of today exhibit the same level of stress that children in psychiatric care did in the 50′s and 60′s. That’s a disconcerting fact all on its own!

During the course of the show, another expert talked about the focus of today’s parenting, which he maintained is on keeping the child happy, regardless. The speaker held that in previous generations the focus was on teaching resilience. Happiness wasn’t forgotten, simply secondary.

Inherent in this idea is a definition of ‘happy’ that seems problematic. It implies that ‘happy’ means not facing the realities of life, thus the anxiety and depression seen in these kids. And, despite the current trend of my posts, I have to admit that the word ‘happy’, conjures up for me mental images of Pollyanna and inanely smiling people who assure you that all is well while the ship sinks beneath them.

Now, I know that’s NOT what practitioners of Positive Psychology mean when they use the word ‘happy’ so this got me digging deeper for the essence of what they’re really talking about.

Now, I like that word “resilience”. To my mind, it means bouncing back when you’re knocked down. Knowing things aren’t always sunny but being okay with that – that a few bad days doesn’t a whole life make. Becoming bullet-proof to what life throws your way. It’s being adult enough to know our choices are our own so we stop blaming our parents and get on with life.

There is so much I like about the word resilience! A resilient person pursues her goals no matter what gets in the way. She may have days when quitting looks appealing but, because she cultivates a positive and proactive mindset she keeps going and achieves a personally meaningful success.

In my search, I looked up synonyms for happy and found the word ‘contented’. So where does Earl Nightingale’s concept of ‘constructive discontent’ fit in?” I happen to agree with Earl’s premise that being unhappy with the status quo eventually brings about change. And it takes resilience to go against the flow in pursuit of that change until it becomes reality.

So, is it the happiness mindset that leads to success? Or something deeper?

I’ll keep digging.

 

Happiness Strategy

According to Shawn Achor at GoodThinkInc, happiness is the underlying fuel for true success. His research has shown that we have had the success equation backwards. Success doesn’t create happiness but rather happy people tend to be successful. Perhaps they see themselves as having already arrived. (Something to write about later.) My plan for 2011 is to experiment and play with Shawn’s idea by choosing a positive mindset and successful living.

My experiment AND learning began on January 1, Day One of my project. In fact,the lessons began before I even got out of bed.

When I woke up, I wasn’t feeling particularly positive simply because I was overtired. I’d been visiting with my grandkids over the holidays and of course, on New Year’s Eve we did lots of fun things, ate too much and stayed up late. By morning, choosing an optimistic outlook wasn’t how I wanted to greet a rainy day. That’s when I realized two things.

One – whether I’m aware of it or not I always choose my mindset for my day and …
Two – I’d made that choice harder by overindulging the day before.

My little Aha (as I lay there half awake) was that I could help my Happiness Experiment along simply by living a little more consciously in the physical world. And that would impact the success I achieve, both short term and long term.

I know most of us are aware of the connection between our bodies and minds but too often we ignore it. However, if we really want to reach our goals then let’s make it easier on ourselves by stacking the deck in our own favour by making healthy choices.

I’m going to track and report the results of my experiment here on my blog. There are a number of aspects of what Shawn Achor has to say about the happiness strategy that I plan to explore more and I’ll write about them here as well.

In the meantime, I hope 2011 has gotten off to a strong start for you. Here’s to your success!

 

Making Healthy Resolutions

At the start of a new year, many of us make resolutions and set goals on what we want to accomplish in the coming months. Usually these revolve around living a healthier life and that’s admirable but then we limit our definition of health to simply its physical aspects.

But what might change if wellness is bigger than you thought? Care to stretch  your thinking just a bit? Because there are actually five areas in your life that need balance, leaving one out may actually sabotage your efforts while awareness could bring you success in areas you hadn’t even thought about.

1.     Healthy Body

At the top of most New Year’s lists are resolutions about diet and exercise. But you may be getting ahead of yourself.

Beginning with restful sleep, pure water and clean air creates a solid foundation for your nutrition and activity goals. After all, if you are exhausted and stressed by your environment, you may be asking an overtired, already overwhelmed body to do more. So begin with the basics.

2.     Healthy Mind

Create a healthier mindset by taking a regular dose of Vitamin G , which stands for Gratitude. Set a goal of starting  each day with thankfulness. It sets the tone for everything that follows. Then choose to hang out with people who support your choice of living successfully.  And that includes the movies, TV, music and printed word that you spend time with.

3.     Healthy Family

The term “family” includes anyone whose absence would create a big hole in your life. Do the people who are important to you have a priority in your calendar? At the start of this new year, take some time to plan things you’d like to do together and include them in your calendar. Strong personal connections contribute to a sense of belonging and satisfaction.

4.     Healthy Society

Contributing to the larger community not only keeps society healthy but it’s also good for your personal well-being. Most of us are aware that the stress hormones such as cortisol and epinephrine may impair the immune system. By contrast, oxytocin, which is generated in our brains when we ‘pay it forward’,  offers a beneficial physical payback.  And one more measure of how successful we are in life is our ability to give back.

5.     Healthy Finances

Too often, this one gets left off the list and yet it’s the number one cause of stress in most people’s lives. Without healthy finances, it’s a struggle to maintain the other four pillars.

However, healthy finances involve more than just planning for getting out of debt. Think about what a solid financial footing really means to you and develop a strategy to reach your goal.

In 2011 you can improve your health and success  in all Five Areas. It simply starts with an awareness of the bigger picture.

 

The Power of Vulnerability

 

The Happiness Experiment

How often have you thought “When I – fill in the blank – then I’ll be happy.” Well, according to experts in the field of Positive Psychology, it’s the happy people who become successful, not the other way around. According to this field of study, our intellectual intelligence only predicts 25% of our chances for success. The other 75% is made up of a belief that our actions matter, our social support sytem and our attitude towards stress, all of which contribute to how happy we allow ourselves to be.

This isn’t to advocate a Pollyanna approach to life but rather a conscious choice of positivity. You can proactively create an environment where success exists right now, not in some distant future. Think about it. Isn’t happiness the basic reason you desire success? I’m sure some of you are thinking “Well, that’s a no-brainer” but are your actions and thoughts really in alignment with your beliefs?

One way to create a positive mindset is by practicing gratitude. I know, I know. It’s almost a cliché to talk about gratitude but just because something is overused doesn’t make it less true. So I have to ask, are you consciously practicing it in your life? It’s like kryptonite to a scarcity mentality. You can’t feel gratitude and still grumble. They just don’t mix. When you feel your happiness meter running low, take a moment and find one thing to be grateful for right then. Instead of looking for what makes you unhappy, change your focus. As I wrote in an earlier post, we don’t really multi-task as much as we’d like to think we do. But we can use that quirk of our brains to advantage. When we shift our focus, our minds have to let go of the old thoughts and replace them with the new.

Another way to stay on the plus side of your mental equation is to choose who and what you let into your head. Do the people you associate with constantly complain about their work, spouses, kids, health, the weather and the news? If they won’t change then you need to remove yourself from their influence. It may seem harsh but it’s also self-defence and a wise success strategy.

Jim Rohn, a respected business philosopher, noted once that “we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with.” If you need to amp up your personal average, then seek out people who support the positive side of you. It’s a huge boost to your confidence when you look in someone else’s eyes and see their belief in you. Spend time with people (and books, DVDs, music, etc) that build you up. Practice possibility thinking by hanging out with it.

Finally, how do you react to stress? Do you see it as a challenge or something to be avoided at all costs? When confronted with an obstacle to your success do you ask “How can I …” or is your response more along the lines of “I can’t because…” ? Something as simple as changing your language around the stressor will begin to change the way you react to the tests that come your way.

I’m going to be delving a lot deeper into this idea of happiness as it relates to success over the coming year. I’m conducting a little experiment. I’ll provide more details on that in my next post.

 

A Foundation of Trust

Do you let yourself 'off the hook' when you make promises to yourself?

You know what I'm talking about. The alarm blares and you hit "Snooze" instead of the gym. You plan to contact people about your new product when suddenly answering email looks so much more attractive than the phone.

However, when you break personal promises like this, you may be hurting more than just your self. It could be having an impact on your public self, as well.

We all know our Inner Critic is quick to pick on us for the slightest thing. Negative self-talk whittles away at your sense of trustworthiness. Keep telling yourself you never honour promises to yourself and it will eventually undermine your self-trust and erode self-confidence.

Most of us instinctively trust people with great self-confidence. And if you're in business, that trust factor is an important commodity to possess. People like to do business with those they trust, especially in tight economic times.

By building a personal history of self-trust, you create a solid foundation that becomes an integral part of your public persona. Without even thinking about it, you  generate an aura of trustworthiness simply because you believe it at your core.  After all. you've already proven it to your self so you exude more self-confidence.

Most of us judge our future on our past actions. If you want to change the script in your head, you need to re-write your story. Here's how:

Take an activity you'd like to commit to and break it down to its smallest activity.

For example, if you want to incorporate healthy eating into your lifestyle, doing it all in one fell swoop may be setting yourself up for failure. By letting go of just one item in your current menu and replacing it with a more nourishing alternative, you keep your promise to yourself. Once it becomes a habit, move to the next item. Soon you've strung together a series of successes and built confidence in your ability to keep a commitment.

The ripple effect of honouring your self could amaze you!

"There is absolutely nothing you can do that will increase integrity faster than learning how to make and keep commitments to yourself."   — The Speed of Trust, Stephen M.R. Covey