In the middle of my exploration of the word ‘happy’, I heard an episode of “Ideas” on CBC Radio called “Hurried Children”. One of the sub-topics was the high levels of anxiety in this generation of kids. One expert found in her studies that the children of today exhibit the same level of stress that children in psychiatric care did in the 50′s and 60′s. That’s a disconcerting fact all on its own!
During the course of the show, another expert talked about the focus of today’s parenting, which he maintained is on keeping the child happy, regardless. The speaker held that in previous generations the focus was on teaching resilience. Happiness wasn’t forgotten, simply secondary.
Inherent in this idea is a definition of ‘happy’ that seems problematic. It implies that ‘happy’ means not facing the realities of life, thus the anxiety and depression seen in these kids. And, despite the current trend of my posts, I have to admit that the word ‘happy’, conjures up for me mental images of Pollyanna and inanely smiling people who assure you that all is well while the ship sinks beneath them.
Now, I know that’s NOT what practitioners of Positive Psychology mean when they use the word ‘happy’ so this got me digging deeper for the essence of what they’re really talking about.
Now, I like that word “resilience”. To my mind, it means bouncing back when you’re knocked down. Knowing things aren’t always sunny but being okay with that – that a few bad days doesn’t a whole life make. Becoming bullet-proof to what life throws your way. It’s being adult enough to know our choices are our own so we stop blaming our parents and get on with life.
There is so much I like about the word resilience! A resilient person pursues her goals no matter what gets in the way. She may have days when quitting looks appealing but, because she cultivates a positive and proactive mindset she keeps going and achieves a personally meaningful success.
In my search, I looked up synonyms for happy and found the word ‘contented’. So where does Earl Nightingale’s concept of ‘constructive discontent’ fit in?” I happen to agree with Earl’s premise that being unhappy with the status quo eventually brings about change. And it takes resilience to go against the flow in pursuit of that change until it becomes reality.
So, is it the happiness mindset that leads to success? Or something deeper?
I’ll keep digging.
