What’s a Life Coach, Anyhow?

The other day someone surprised me by asking what I did for a living. They loved my posts but had no idea why I chose the subjects I did. I guess I just thought everyone knew. I've been merrily writing about life but it seems it's been too long since I wrote about coaching. So – let's talk.

First off, it's not therapy or counseling. Life coaching is all about your future, not the past. Where would you like to be a year from now? Five years from now? What dreams are calling to you? What's standing in your way?

A coach fills the role of that objective friend you need to move ahead. Family and friends usually can't do this for you. The people who care about you are emotionally involved and have their own agendas, whether conscious or unconscious. That's not good or bad, it just is. Because of it, I won't coach my friends and I have never met my own coach face to face. 

Think of it this way – we each star in our own movie. In your family or friends' movies you are simply a supporting character. If you decide to change your lines or take on a new role, you disrupt their story. Your change forces them to change, something they probably didn't agree to. 

So a coach brings objectivity and a different perspective to the question of "Where do you want to go in your life?"

A coach also provides accountability.

We all know how easy it is to break those promises we make to ourselves — the weight loss, the new job, the dream trip, etc.  That's because it's easy to let someone you love off the hook. That's also the reason anyone we are in relationship with has trouble holding us accountable. Hopefully they love us, too.

This next coaching role is my favorite – with your coach there are no failures, only opportunities. So whether you do or don't do, you will always learn. I help you deepen that learning and use it to move ahead.

While the agenda is always yours. I act as a guide by asking curious questions. I help deepen your learning and I listen. Really listen. Probably more than you've been listened to in your life. Most of my clients say that being heard is the best part. You'd be amazed by what a good
coach can detect in the energy of your voice. That's also why coaching isn't limited by geography because most
coaching takes place over the phone.

In a nutshell – that's what I do. I do it because my dream is to see everyone live fully, openly and without apology for their dreams. I believe that everyone of us is put on this planet for a reason and if we each live fully into our purpose we'll all be richer.

I guess you could say I do have an agenda. I want to help you define success for yourself and then go after it!

If you're ready to get serious about your future, drop me an email. We can arrange a 15 minute coaching session without obligation so you can experience a little of the power of coaching. And if you think you can't afford coaching, ask me how you could qualify to be coached by me – for free!

 

Ask For What You Need

I've been reading the book we're going to discuss in the Edge Book Club and it seems every time I open it I come across something I want to share. Last week, however, the author Barbara Stanny really struck gold for me. She wrote about seeking support for your dreams and goals.

According to Ms. Stanny, successful women (and men, too) need two types in their lives and business – Way Showers and True Believers. For most of us, it's not that they don't exist in our lives. Our problem lies in asking for the support we need. We learn early to 'stand on your own two feet' and 'don't be a nuisance'. Lots of messages that make Independence the ideal.

It's a myth to think you can figure it all out yourself. And it's certainly not a virtue. You lose a world of richness and possibility if the only experience you can draw on is your own.

In the current economy, it's more important than ever to find the support you need. Optimistic, outside of the box support that keeps you moving forward.

What we lose by trying to make it on our own is inspiration,
accountability and someone to cheer us on. The right support also helps pry our
fingers off the ledge when it's time to leap.

I can always use more of that in my life. What about you?

 

Team Up For Success

I often joke with my husband that I don't need more time, I need more deadlines. That applies even with the things I know are good for me, such as exercise or a book I've been meaning to read. That's when a coaching concept called "accountability" helps out.

 

Simply put, it's someone you make yourself accountable to for an action or result you want in your life. A good example is meeting your neighbour for a walk at 6 a.m. every morning.

 

It's easy to let yourself off the hook when only you notice but knowing that your friend is waiting at the end of your driveway is a great incentive. (Especially here in Ontario when winter mornings get pretty frosty. Friendsicles can be testy.)

 

If you've got an important goal for 2009, enlisting a carefully chosen support team is a good first step. Set up regular check-ins to keep you on track. Let them know how to support you – what will work and what won't. (If you want some ideas on how to go about this, join my Success Salon this Thursday.)

 

Few of us are successful on our own. Even Obama had a team that cheered him on and I'll bet there were days when Michelle helped him get out the door.

 

Create your own Success Team for the support you want to achieve your goals. No one else may know they are there but the results will be obvious.