Courage in Action

I've been playing with the idea of "boldness" a
lot lately. I find it resonates with many of my readers.  Last month we
explored it during the Bolder Women series and I had women join the calls from
all over the world. Most of us long for bolder lives.

  To me, bold means more than getting past my fears. It's
seeing courage come to life in actions. To live boldly isn't something
that's invisible to those around us. Boldness makes an impact. Boldness has
power to create change.

So let's stop talking about self-improvement. Instead, let's talk about what we as women are up to in this world. What is the change you
want to create? What are you meant to be up to while you're on this planet?

Big questions, I know but I'm convinced they reflect the underlying
longing we each have for significance. Self-improvement is just a way to distract
ourselves because it feels like we're up to something. But we weren't
put here to just work on our selves. We, each one of us, has a purpose and a
responsibility and we were born with the tools we need to meet that
responsibility. I also believe we live our most joy-filled and full-filled
lives when we get up to being on purpose.

In my own quest I found as
answer. My purpose for being here is to help women like you make a difference in your
world. It's time for me to claim it and take bold action!

So you'll be reading a lot more about this subject on this
blog. And if you're a Christian woman of spirit, visit my new blog at aprillejanes.typepad/bolder_spirit as well. Some of the posts will look similar but I will be writing from a more spiritually-based value system.
 
You may also want to set aside the weekend of October 2-4, 2009.  I'm putting together a 3-day retreat for "Bolder Women on Purpose". Details to
come soon but space is going to be limited to ensure a rich experience for
everyone who attends. If you want to get your name on the list now, drop me an
email and I'll send you advance notice when registration opens.

 

Bold Dreams

I've been promoting a free event in May – "In Praise of Bolder Women". It's made me wonder – am I talking about living boldly while holding back part of myself?

A little voice is telling me that could be true. Here's why.

How can I get across to you that taking action on a dream is vital if I'm not sharing the impact of my own dreams? 

Part of the responsibility of having a dream is sharing it. So I realised it's time
for me to share more fully with you, my readers, so that we are both
richer for it. It feels like a really bold step because sharing the reality of those dreams can take me to some vulnerable places. It's easier to hide.

A few years back, when I got real about what I wanted in my life, I began expressing myself through various forms of visual art and also my writing. I discovered my creativity was an expression of my spirituality because it let me listen to my soul's language. I re-claimed dreams that had been constricted and hidden for far too long.

When I was a kid, I wanted black patent leather shoes with tiny straps but my mother bought me a pair of awful brown oxfords. You know the kind. Sturdy and ugly. (Why do mothers do these things to their kids?)

I wore them for about a week, feeling self-conscious and drab. They were stiff and uncomfortable and I hated them with all of my ten year old heart. So I did the only thing any sane kid would do.

I took them to the creek down the road and set them afloat. The last I saw of them they were headed for Waterman's Lake. For all I know they're still there today, terrorizing fishermen who have the misfortune of hooking one.

Now, you need to know that my mother was not a woman to trifle with but I don't remember what transpired when I arrived home barefoot. (Obviously I survived since I'm here to tell the tale.) The fact I don't remember tells me the important part of this story for me was about taking action on something I was passionate about.

Lately, though, it seems I've been wearing those brown oxfords again. It's time for me to take them off and enjoy the feel of the bare earth on my feet again. To re-claim and walk comfortably in my dreams. Won't you join me?

Where are you holding yourself back?

What is the limiting belief or fear that keeps you there?

What would change if you took action on your dream?

What would be possible if you fully lived your dream?

 

Living in Colour

Life's too short to spend it on things we're not connected to but sometimes we need a little inspiration.

I've created a new category called Bolder Women to introduce you to some amazing women who are an inspiration to me. I hope they will inspire you as well. Many of them won't be in the news – yet. They are simply women like you and I who have something important they need to get up to.

For instance, meet Vicki Pinkerton, a fellow coach and all round Bolder Woman. 

I met Vicki a number of years ago at a writer's retreat and we've been friends and colleagues ever since. Vicki was a big reason I ended up in the Yukon on a journey of re-discovery but now Vicki is getting ready to head out on her own dream quest – a driving trip across Canada.

Community is important to Vicki. So much so that she's dedicating the next part of her life to exploring the concept. She plans to just stop wherever the spirit moves her and meet the people in that place. Engage them in conversation and discover how alike and how different we all are. She will share what she learns with the world, using her considerable writing talent.

I can't even recall the first time she talked about it. This dream has been part of her for as long as I've known her but first she had a family to launch and a university degree to complete. However, the kids have flown, she graduated last May and now nothing stands in her way. She took a big gulp last fall and got into action. Now her departure date is almost here. 

I'll let Vicki tell this part.

"May 5th my driving buddy and I strike out at the crack of dawn
heading for British Columbia (from Ontario). We will be pushing it. No exploring on
the way…well, maybe a little. I will visit there long enough to catch
my breath and head for friends and family in Pitt Meadow, Victoria,
Campbell River and then on to my eventual starting point in Port Hardy.
I am overwhelmed with excitement. I’m not sleeping…every moment of down
time is spent with my mind spinning…don’t forget this, what if that….

I want to live my life in colour."

I love her last line. Are you living in colour?

What colour would your dreams be?

What does that colour signify to you?

What would be a 'gulp' for you?  Are you willing to take it?

Do you have a quest in your future?

If you'd like to follow Vicki vicariously on her quest she will be blogging about her experiences at www.questacrosscanada.com. I know she'll welcome your comments and support.

 

The Action Habit

In the December issue of Oprah is an interview with Jessica Lange who reveals "If I had to start over, I'd pursue photography."

That piqued my curiosity so I Googled her and found out she's only 60. Plenty of time to follow her dream. So I was delighted to also learn that Ms. Lange published a book of photographs in 2008. A great role model for Boomer Women who still have stuff to accomplish!

I can almost hear some of you. "She's Jessica Lange — of course, she got her book published."

That's not what I'm writing about here. I want you to get that she got into action and took the photographs. She put them into a collection. Her passion found expression though action.

So – what's your passion? What would you do if you weren't too old or didn't need more training or were smarter or…. Do you see where I'm going with this?  These are just excuses to hide the fear of getting real about your dreams.

The real truth is, most of us aren't afraid of failing; we're actually afraid we might succeed so we find a reason not to start. The only antidote to this fear is to create an 'action habit'. If you're in action you can't be afraid because you're too busy.

How do you get the action habit?

1) Don't bite off so much that it overwhelms you but do stretch yourself. Bite off enough to really fill your mouth, then chew carefully. Take the next bite.

2) Cultivate the habit of action. If you see something that needs doing, step up and start without worrying about what others may think. Usually you'll find the others were waiting for someone else to step in.

3) Don't wait for perfect conditions. Perfection is a myth. Good enough is good enough. Get started and revise later.

4) Similarly, don't wait for the right mood. Do you think successful authors wait for the muse to visit? It states in their contracts when they have to deliver and I can assure you it doesn't say "When you feel like it". The same applies to your dream. Create a contract with yourself and don't let moods dictate your actions.

Dreams alone have no value. They only have value when you act on them.

What excuses are keeping you from action?

What's the real truth behind the excuse?

What would you do if the excuse didn't exist?

When are you going to do it?

 

Miss Behavin’

I have the joy of watching an adorable girl child at our church grow up. She is bold and confident without being annoying. The adults around her are molding her without breaking off the best parts. I hope they can continue to walk this delicate line.

Although only 2 years old, this little girl doesn't hold back.She radiates enthusiasm and joy. Her purpose in life is to have fun and laugh. She assumes the right to be alive with every cell of her body. If her parents continue to nurture this in her, she'll be light years ahead of others her age when she reaches adulthood.

I vividly remember being a child and the adults around me constantly chiding "Behave yourself." Sometimes they changed the message a little with "Don't be so bold".

At first I had a hard time remembering either dictum but eventually, I learned how I was expected to behave and
to bury my boldness under acceptable manners. I even learned not to question why this was so important. It simply became easier to go along to get along.

Like most women, these
rules controlled my behavior for too many years. I assumed the adults knew what was best for me and never challenged that assumption when I became an adult myself. I gave away my power and wisdom, losing sight of how vital it was for me to boldly live out my dreams.

Happily, I  began to ask questions about those rules a few years back. I'll be the first to admit I don't have it perfect yet. After all, those childhood messages run deep. But I am assuming my right to be alive with every cell of my body. I'm learning to trust my own wisdom, knowing my parents didn't always get it right, although they did the best they could.

The point is, you have a choice. Continue to accept the old rules from your childhood or create a new set of operating instructions for your adult self — one who has her own life wisdom to draw on. The one who remembers the amazing person you were before the adults got hold of you.

The opposite of "Behave Yourself" is a little old-fashioned misbehavior. Don't accept the rules just "because". You really do have a choice. Assume your right to be bold. Pursue your dreams with every fibre of your being.

Some questions to explore:

What am I assuming to be true?

What would happen if it wasn't true?

What's really the truth here?

What's one bold action I can take today towards my dreams?