Feed Your Dream

Think about this . We tend to honor our commitments to strangers while neglecting those who love us because we count on our loved ones to forgive us.

When I heard that the other day it wasn't a big leap to understanding why it's easy to renege on promises I make to myself. I believe I forgive myself. No harm, no foul.

But – do we really forgive and forget? Could it be why we feel stressed and resentful? Is it why we feel crunched for time? Does irritation at self show up in other places? We look outside for the cause of our bad mood and miss the fact that we're starving our dreams. I don't know about you, but I get pretty cranky when I'm hungry!

I suspect a lot of you reading this know what I'm talking about.

What's calling to you today? For me, it's time to write, to process experience and thoughts. I have a long To-Do list in front of me but it will have to wait. My writing tugs at my sleeve like a whiny child until I pay attention. If I don't, that child gets louder and keeps me from focusing fully on my other responsibilities. That's when the irritation starts, like a low grade pain.

There's only one cure. Make a commitment to your dream and honor it. Don't let yourself off the hook. Taking action on your unique dream is the most important work you can do. 

It doesn't have to take a lot of time. Fifteen minutes a day adds up to 90 hours in a year. I could write a whole book in that amount of time. 

What could you do with 90 hours?

What about that is important to you?

What would making that real in your life mean to you?

 

Miss Behavin’

I have the joy of watching an adorable girl child at our church grow up. She is bold and confident without being annoying. The adults around her are molding her without breaking off the best parts. I hope they can continue to walk this delicate line.

Although only 2 years old, this little girl doesn't hold back.She radiates enthusiasm and joy. Her purpose in life is to have fun and laugh. She assumes the right to be alive with every cell of her body. If her parents continue to nurture this in her, she'll be light years ahead of others her age when she reaches adulthood.

I vividly remember being a child and the adults around me constantly chiding "Behave yourself." Sometimes they changed the message a little with "Don't be so bold".

At first I had a hard time remembering either dictum but eventually, I learned how I was expected to behave and
to bury my boldness under acceptable manners. I even learned not to question why this was so important. It simply became easier to go along to get along.

Like most women, these
rules controlled my behavior for too many years. I assumed the adults knew what was best for me and never challenged that assumption when I became an adult myself. I gave away my power and wisdom, losing sight of how vital it was for me to boldly live out my dreams.

Happily, I  began to ask questions about those rules a few years back. I'll be the first to admit I don't have it perfect yet. After all, those childhood messages run deep. But I am assuming my right to be alive with every cell of my body. I'm learning to trust my own wisdom, knowing my parents didn't always get it right, although they did the best they could.

The point is, you have a choice. Continue to accept the old rules from your childhood or create a new set of operating instructions for your adult self — one who has her own life wisdom to draw on. The one who remembers the amazing person you were before the adults got hold of you.

The opposite of "Behave Yourself" is a little old-fashioned misbehavior. Don't accept the rules just "because". You really do have a choice. Assume your right to be bold. Pursue your dreams with every fibre of your being.

Some questions to explore:

What am I assuming to be true?

What would happen if it wasn't true?

What's really the truth here?

What's one bold action I can take today towards my dreams?

 

Women of Influence

Why do I believe it's so important for women to take action on their dreams? 

Because we are influencers. If you don't think that's true, check out this blog post by Marilyn Mobley, 
a public relations executive in Atlanta. She writes about the influence
of Boomer women and how we are embracing technology as a tool of influence.

There's a reason we all smile at the old saying "If Momma ain't happy,
ain't nobody happy." We recognize the underlying truth of it. We
understand the power of influence.

What we as women do, how we feel, what we talk about and give our attention to permeates and shifts the energy around us. I believe that, if enough women take action on what's important to them on a deeply personal level, we can create our own version of Global Warming – in the very best sense. There is the very real possibility that the underlying paradigm of our culture will shift from competition to cooperation.

So if that little voice in your head tells you that setting aside time for what is important to you is selfish, well – send that voice packing. Taking action on your vision and claiming your dreams is the most unselfish thing you can do. The world desperately needs women and their dreams.

We need to live fully and authentically. If we don't then we leave the best part of ourselves unused. If someone gave you the keys to a mansion, would you live only in the front hallway? Peek behind the doors in your life and see what dreams you're keeping in those other rooms. Then throw open the windows and the front door and share your good fortune.

Yes, there will be those who don't get you. So what? They're not the ones you're here for. There's someone else for them. Connect to the people who need what you've got.That's enough influence for anyone.

And keep this in mind -there's not one right way that applies to everyone. I ran into someone recently who claimed her nutritional product worked for anyone even though the evidence in my body was to the contrary. Turns out I was allergic to one of the ingredients.

In the past I listened too much to those voices. No more. I am learning to trust my own wisdom now and claim a bigger life. Won't you join me?

What one choice can you make today to stake a claim on your dream?

Not sure what that dream might be? Look for clues in the things you love to do. Your journal is a great resource, too.

Are you stuck because you think it's all or nothing, either/or, black and white? What third option might you be overlooking?

Who in your life supports your dreams?  Spend some time with them today. If you don't have someone, find someone. Offer to be their cheering section and you both win. That could be your first step to staking your claim.

 

I Hear It Over and Over

I hear it over and over, usually from a Boomer who is re-evaluating their life. It's a refrain that sounds something like this "I don't know what I want to be when I grow up!" 

Isn't the real question "Who am I now that I'm all growed up?"

Here are three practices that may help you find at least some clues, if not a full answer. Any one or all three will contribute to your self-confidence and success.

1) Keep a journal.

I love what E.M Forester had to say about this. "How will I know what I think until I see what I have to say?"

One tip – be sure to date all of your entries. The value of this came home to me when I needed to make a hard decision about changing my career a few years ago. When I looked back in my journals I could see I'd been complaining about this for over three years! I finally got tired of listening to myself and did something about it.

2) Turn off the distractions and be with yourself.

This can actually be pretty scary. We surround ourselves with constant noise and diversions precisely because we're afraid to be alone. Radio, TV, the computer, our cell phones and other people. The list could go on and on and you'll have your own favorites.

Try driving to work without the daily news. Take a walk by yourself. Just sit quietly in your living room. It will feel strange – even ridiculous – at first but give it a chance. This will stretch your comfort zone but Listen to yourself for a change and not the world around you.

3) Don't discount what others tell you.

How often have you received a compliment and brushed it off? Be generous towards the giver and respond with a simple "Thank you." Negating a compliment is actually an insult, both to the giver and to yourself.

Accept the gift being offered. It may point to a strength that is invisible to you. Just because something is easy for you don't assume it's easy for everyone. Value the compliment because it just provided a piece to the puzzle that is you.

 

Become a Natural Networker

How to Become a Natural Networker?

By Maureen G. Mulvaney, MGM

Most children are natural net workers. The minute we were mobile, we
began making friends – on the playground, at the dentist’s office and
in school. To reclaim your ability to network naturally, all you have
to do is reclaim your childlike curiosity. It’s as easy as one, two,
three.

1. Shift Your Perceptions of Networking.
As children we heard “Don’t Talk to Strangers.” As adults, we are asked
to attend networking events and accost strangers with our Business
Cards. This isn’t natural. Our parents and teachers who didn’t want us
talking to strangers encouraged us to make friends. Shift your
artificial perception of networking to doing what you’ve been doing
since childhood: meeting and making new friends.

You must also shift your perception of where to meet your new friends.
As kids, we networked anywhere there was another kid. Natural
networking takes place everywhere there are people. Look at all the
places you go during the day: dropping off kids at school, the grocery
store, the airport, and the bank. View these places with a new set of
eyes and make them your portable networking office. Make your office
hours any time there is an
opportunity to make a new friend.

2. Talk to Your ‘New Friend’
The easiest way to talk to a new friend is to ask questions and be
genuinely interested. Children can’t help themselves from asking
questions. As adults we must unleash our childlike curiosity.
Psychology 101 teaches, “The one asking the question is in control.”'

Take control of your destiny by asking questions. A simple, magic question that can start a
meaningful conversation is, “You must love what you do, right?” To a new mother, you might say, “

Oh, what an adorable baby, don’t you just love being a mom?” To a
dentist, you might say: “Oh, you’re a dentist, you must love your work,
right?” Ask the magic question in a caring manner and you’re new friend
will respond openly and honestly. You will discover her needs or
dissatisfactions. Either way, you have entry into a thoughtful
conversation.

3. Make the Exchange.
Once you have made a ‘new friend’, you’ll want to keep in touch. As
kids, we just said, “Wanna come over to my house to play?” Friends
naturally say, “Let’s Keep in Touch.” Ask
for their contact information or business card. Simply say, “I’d like to keep in touch, got a card?”

Always carry business cards, and when you hear, “I don’t have a card,”
say, “No problems, here’s one.” Because we’ve all been trained to make
friends, most people will hand you their contact information without
hesitation.

Natural networking is meeting and making new friends wherever you go,
curiously asking questions and making sure you keep in touch. It’s
exactly what you’ve done your whole life. Go out and make a new friend,
today?

Maureen G.Mulvaney, better known as MGM, is the author of The Women’s Millionaire
Club-the Traits and Patterns of Success of Women Millionaires of Network Marketing. As an
international professional speaker, MGM teaches small businesses How To
Attract Paying Clients, Who Become Lunatic Fans, That Refer Others.

The Women's Millionaire Club, by Maureen G Mulvaney, is being offered beginning on March 17th, 2009 at 12:01 am. I invite you to go to this page – http://mgmsuperstar.com/wjtc/exclusive.html
- to access the order page and then return to this same page to access the
bonus page. Then, on the Exclusive Private Invite page, enter your order
confirmation code. That will allow you to gain entry to the FREE Pot o'
Gold Bonus Items.

 

Are You A Bolder Chick?

I suppose this could be construed as a trick question. After all, if I coin the phrase “Bolder Chick” then I get to decide who is a Bolder Chick and who isn’t, right?  The truth is, I do have a definite image in mind when I use the term. 

The Bolder Chick is a woman navigating the sometimes choppy waters of midlife, usually between the ages of 45 and 60. The shoreline may still look familiar but the wind has definitely shifted and the compass points can’t be trusted anymore. Even though you feel uncertain about what the future holds, you're still looking forward to the adventure.

An inspiring blend of courageous curiosity and vitality mixed with a dash of humor makes you a Bolder Chick. You've got a lot of life to live, dreams to fulfill and plans to nurture. You may be growing older but you’re also growing bolder and looking forward to the gifts that come with the passing of time. Gifts like lessons learned, challenges met and wisdom.

Sure, there’s the stuff you don’t particularly welcome with open arms – arms that may wobble a bit more than you’d like.  But you also know it’s not about the gray hair, a few wrinkles, menopause and an empty nest. You have hopes, expectations and goals for the second half of your life. You refuse to become invisible or allow your abilities to be discounted. You’ve got a lot left to contribute.

Midlife is a time of renewal, of exploring new areas of interest and the freedom to finally be who you wanted to be when you grew up.

I find myself attracting a lot of Bolder Chicks into my orbit these days and I love the energy and challenge they bring with them. My focus is broadening (no pun intended) to explore with you how to meet those challenges and live the bigger life we all crave.

We'll still talk about business tips because many of you are starting or growing a business. But there's also all the other dreams you bring and the challenges you see. I want to work with you on vision, goals, making it real, making it up, getting into action and practicing extreme self-care, just to mention a few. There will be workshops, retreats, articles, books, on line stuff and lots of other resources to help you sail into that bigger, bolder life.

So don't touch that dial!